A Ritual for Letting Go

I’ve been having trouble letting go of my thoughts and feelings about a relationship that ended. After what I thought was a reasonable amount to time to process and move on, they were still occupying space in my heart and mind. It got to the point that my most recent dreams were about them.

As meaningful and impactful as this person was, holding on in the way that I was was torture, a self-inflicted kind that I needed to stop. It was obvious that they were still occupying mindshare and heartshare and I needed to reclaim that space. 

In an attempt to finally let go and reclaim my space, I returned to a ritual that provided release for me at the end of last year. The sea is accessible for me as I’m currently living on the coast of Mexico, so  I’m “taking it to the sea”.  

If I weren’t, I’d modify the ritual to resemble the Yi Peng Lantern Festival in Chiang Mai, letting the items go into the air (return it to the sky). Of course, you could even bury something (return it to the earth) or even burn it. The method is less important than the act itself.

I don’t depend on a particular date (New Year) or condition (Full Moon). I’m simply driven by the need to release something.

Much like the Loi Krathong and Iemanjá Day celebrations that I’ve experienced., I create or bring something that symbolizes what I need to let go of.  

As part of the “ceremony”, I verbally acknowledge the goodness that this person brought into my life.

And with that said, I let the items go, symbolizing the “letting go” of that relationship. Doing so is cathartic and allows me to mourn the loss and close that chapter of my life.

Do you have practice/ritual for letting go of things?

But Why Are We DOING It?

In the movie, Avengers: Infinity War, the Guardians of The Galaxy are introduced at the beginning of a new adventure. Rocket, the “real captain” of the group asks why they’ve chosen to take on this particular mission. Gamora states that they heard a distress signal and that someone could be in real danger.  In true Rocket fashion, he responds, “I get that, but why are we DOING it?”

It’s a funny bit of dialogue and further highlights Rocket’s sardonic sensibilities. But on a deeper level, the question “but why are we DOING it” provides an opportunity to dive deeper into the motivations behind the actions we take. Note that Rocket’s emphasis was on the word DOING. This is important because he’s acknowledging the generally accepted benefits of the mission while seeking to unpack the specific reasons for the group’s involvement.

Anyone can answer the distress call and take on the risks involved. Understanding why they are taking action instead of doing something else drives home the fact that we our decision making is driven by more deep-seated desires. Understanding and acknowledging them can be critical in pushing through the dips, the times when things get tough and we’re tempted to quit.

Let’s think about something as simple as eating healthier. We are surely aware of the benefits of eating better:

  • Weight control.
  • Better mood.
  • Reduced chance of disease 

But when it comes to taking the daily action of eating healthy, there is something deeper at play. That comes to the surface when, in the moment we succumb to temptation and opt for the 10 piece hot wing/fries combo instead of the salad. 

Why are we DOING that?

Rocket was looking for the driving force of the mission, the deeper “Why”. The thing that they are so connected to that will stay on mission, even when things go sideways (spoiler alert: they do).

If you are struggling with taking action on the things that you are important to you, take Rocket’s approach and dive deeper than the surface level reasoning.  

Ask “Why am I DOING it?”

What Mobile Payment Apps Do Digital Nomads Use?

Over the course of your travels, you will need to pay for goods and services. You will also need to receive payment, whether it’s from clients or friends when going out to dinner.

Why Use So Many Apps?

Not all payment systems are available everywhere so you’ll need flexibility if you want to pay/receive funds without the hassle of constantly using cash, which is often impractical. For example paying my rent in cash can require multiple trips to the ATM which have long lines, withdrawal limits and are often out of money (looking at you, PDC). 

PayPal

While are some very strong opinions about PayPal, mostly about their practice of freezing accounts, there is no denying there huge presence in this space.. It is a convenient method of receiving payment and I use it when clients aren’t able/willing to pay using Wise or Venmo. However, I never keep more then a few hundred dollars in the account and primarily use it for online shopping and auto-paying a few charities that I support.

Venmo  

A subsidiary of PayPal, Venmo is my primary tool of choice when paying my US-based friends. Getting a check split can be difficult, if not impossible at many restaurants and it’s often easier to simple have one person pay for the tab on a credit card. 

The app is easy to download and setup. Like WhatsApp, you can now simply scan another person’s info to add them to your payment contacts

Referral link for Venmo

Xoom

While living in Latin America, Xoom is my de facto bill pay tool. Also owned by PayPal, I use it to pay for my rent, Spanish lessons and reload my mobile data plan. The transfers for mobile are almost immediate and the other payments are usually available within a day. 

One piece of advice: I tried paying my rent with a bank-to-bank transfer and the verification process was a headache. Opt instead for pick-up service, in which the recipient can go to a store (ex:, 7/11, OXXO, or Walmart) to pick up the funds. It’s faster and will save you a ton of headache.

Wise 

Wise (formerly Transferwise) is my default app for paying and getting paid  from people based in Europe. It is supported in approximately 60 countries.  I’ve been using it since 2017, when I signed up to pay for a co-working space in Estonia, incidentally where Wise was founded. Since then, I’ve used it to pay my European roommates and receive payment from my UK-based clients. Transfer fees are typically between 0 – 4%, depending on the amount of the transfer. Most of my transfers have been available within 24 hours and I’ve never waited longer than 2 days.

Referral Link for Wise

XE – Currency Converter

This simple and easy to use currency converter is one I use frequently when I’m shopping. If it costs more than a few tacos, I like to know how much I’m spending in my home currency.  You can monitor up to 10 currencies of your choice (which I find is more than sufficient for my current country rotation). While I only use it as reference tool, it does offer the ability to transfer funds (bank-to-bank only) and monitor currency fluctuations, complete with notifications.

iOS App | Android

CashApp

CashApp is a popular app for paying people in the United States. I’ve used it in the past and it works great but my current frustration is that it won’t allow me to use my passport to validate my identification. My driver’s license is old and doesn’t scan using the tool provided.

Referral Link for CashApp